I am a professional reminder-er and permission granter who moonlights as an artist, author, and speaker. I enjoy Star Wars, soft t-shirts, and brand new tubes of paint. My wife Kim and I homeschool our three weird kids and live in Wisconsin, where we eat way too many cheese curds.
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Thou Shalt Always Be Positive 🐝
Published 5 days ago • 5 min read
2025 Issue #24 🐝
Happy Sunday, Reader!
Greetings from Sheboygan, where we kicked off our four-part series of Escape Adulthood LIVE this week, giving you the 10-5-1 technique to help you have your #BestSummerEver!
(Oh, and we also began taking pre-orders for my first-ever children's book, The Penguin Who Flew! Don't miss the P.S. this week for a VERY timely announcement...)
Be positive! Be optimistic! Everything is unicorns and rainbows and sunshine and lollipops, yadda, yadda, yadda. 🦄🌈☀️🍭
I am very suspicious of people who are always positive.
I know this may sound weird coming from me, Mr. Anti-Adultitis, whose own father wears a "Bee Optimistic" pin every single day.
Yes, I believe in the power of positive thinking. And optimism is way more attractive than pessimism. But a deep dive into the Wright Brothers reminded me about how the real world works.
Changing the world (or even just our week) requires a little more nuance than the ill-fated advice to always be optimistic.
First of all, there are positives about being negative.
Wilbur and Orville were known to have great arguments and disagreements, with heated words flying between one another at the tops of their voices. Their friend Charlie Taylor insisted they were never really mad. Their discussions were rooted in a great mutual admiration of each other and carried out only in pursuit of the truth. The brothers were not afraid to consider the negative, especially when it came to their theories and plans.
It was characteristic of all his family, Wilbur said, to be able to see the weak points of anything. This was not always a “desirable quality,“ he added, “as it makes us too conservative for successful businessmen, and limits our friendships to a very limited circle.“
The Wright Brothers actively looked for problems. After they were identified, the brothers could begin figuring out how to solve them helped the duo minimize risk, avoid disaster, and increase their odds of success.
There's no doubt that the pair's optimism fueled their achievement by helping them to persist despite the onslaught of skeptics and critics. But they were also human. They experienced failure and were prone to doubts.
Before their big breakthrough, Wilbur got invited to speak to the Western Society of Engineers in Chicago on the subject of gliding experiments. It was his first request to speak in public, and it came after some failed experiments. He wanted to turn it down, but his sister Katharine urged him to do it. As he was making preparations, she asked him, "Will it be witty or scientific?"
"Pathetic, by the time I'm done with it," said Wilbur.
In the end, reviewing his notes and records while preparing for the talk helped him to crystallize his thoughts, and the reaction he received from the audience emboldened him, serving as a wind in his sails.
One of their biggest lows came during their trials at Kitty Hawk. After experiencing a series of failures, the brothers realized that the data from their predecessors that they had taken as gospel was incorrect and could no longer be trusted.
The brothers experienced many such moments of discouragement. But they didn't stay that way. In his book, The Wright Brothers, David McCullough recounts:
What they talked about on the train heading back to Ohio was neither recorded at the time nor discussed in any detail afterward. Yet it is clear from a few of their later comments that they were as down in spirit about their work as they had ever been, and especially Wilbur.
According to what Orville was to write years later, Wilbur was at such a low point he declared that “not in a thousand years would man ever fly.“ Wilbur‘s gloom on the train was only momentary. As Orville said, “He was at work the following day and it seemed to me was more hopeful and determined than ever.“
Later on, Orville was part of the first fatality in the history of powered flight, when his passenger Lieutenant Selfridge died of a fractured skull during a crash. Orville himself was laid up in a hospital for months. Wilbur was in Europe when he heard the news. McCollough writes:
Wilbur looked up, his eyes full of tears, and said if anything could make him abandon further work in solving the problem of flight, it would be an accident like this. Then, springing to his feet, he declared, “No, we have solved this problem. With us flying is not an experiment; it is a demonstration.“
The Wright Brothers changed the world; where does this leave us?
We can remember that although Wilbur and Orville were positive thinkers, they wisely used negativity to their advantage. However, had they dwelled in negativity too often, they never would have gotten off the ground.
I think the real goal is to practice focusing on where you fall on the spectrum between optimism and pessimism. What's your default mode?
It's impossible to be optimistic every second of every day. Life's too hard for that.
It's ok to be discouraged.
Just don't stay that way.
Practice keeping optimism as your default mode.
That way, when the winds of life blow you down, your optimism can help dust you off so you can rise again.
And soar.
🤔 I wonder...when in your life did a healthy dollop of negativity turn out to be just what you needed? Hit reply to share your thoughts with me, or join the conversation in the Escape Adulthood League!
Stay young and stay fun,
P.S.
We have a great incentive to pre-order The Penguin Who Flew sooner than later. 🐧 It's called Marty’s Early Bird Bonus:
Place your order on or before July 4th, 2025 and you will be entered to win a limited edition Marty Pillowand a $20 gift card to the Lemonade Stand. You'll receive one chance for each book you pre-order. We will draw 3 winners who will be announced on Escape Adulthood LIVE on Wed July 9th. (Everyone who already pre-ordered books is automatically entered.)
Pre-Order "The Penguin Who Flew"
The Penguin Who Flew is Jason Kotecki’s first-ever children’s book, starring a persistent penguin named Marty with an impossible dream. You can get some cool bonus goodies if you pre-order it now!
On a mission to help people break free from Adultitis to build better lives, businesses, and teams.
I am a professional reminder-er and permission granter who moonlights as an artist, author, and speaker. I enjoy Star Wars, soft t-shirts, and brand new tubes of paint. My wife Kim and I homeschool our three weird kids and live in Wisconsin, where we eat way too many cheese curds.
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