Happy Sunday, Reader!

Greetings from Sheboygan, where we are getting excited about our Great Calendar Experiment. I wrote about it last week, but the gist is that this year, we are only taking orders for two weeks, starting on October 15. That's also the day you can get the best deal, as the price goes up a dollar a day until it reaches its normal price on October 30th. I also mentioned that every month has an open day to create your own holiday. This week, I have a suggestion for how to celebrate it...

Ruts are the moldy places where Adultitis likes to fester.

Ruts are merely routines that stopped being re-evaluated.

They can show up anywhere in our lives, but they're most common in our relationships. Despite the best intentions, every relationship can get stale.

But no relationship has to stay that way.

All summer long, my wife and youngest daughter dedicated themselves to watering the decorative flowers around our house. It wasn't always convenient, but those flowers lasted the entire summer, and we enjoyed their beauty.

Our relationships are like those flowers.

How long do you expect a plant to last if you don't water it?

Regular date nights are one way Kim and I water our marriage. It takes effort, money, and time, especially with kids in the house. When life is busy, it's easy to skip one, or two, or three...

When Kim and I hear people complain about how busy they are or how out of alignment they are with their spouse, a lack of regular date nights is almost guaranteed. Even after twenty-six years, I know our relationship will wither if we let date nights slip.

Coasting doesn't cut it.

If you can't be bothered to prioritize your relationship, how long do you expect it to last?

The early days of a relationship and marriage are easier, when everything is fresh and exciting. It gets harder as the years add up, careers develop, and kids enter the mix.

When we had babies, we doubled down on date nights. It has required creativity and the humility to ask for and accept help from others. And yes, it often costs money, though a four-star restaurant isn't necessary. A Subway sandwich and a walk in the park work just fine.

We've always appreciated the sentiment that you can either pay for a date night or a therapist. (Hint: Date nights are cheaper — and let's not talk about how expensive divorces can be.)

As I mentioned, at the beginning of a relationship, you barely have to make any effort. Everything is new and electrifying, and you want to spend as much time together as possible. Eventually, those intoxicating feelings fade, routine sets in, and yes, sometimes ruts do, too.

A rut isn't a sign that you've done anything wrong.

But it is a red flag. 🚩

It's a sign you need a little watering.

If things are feeling dry, I challenge you to try a Goodwill date.

Cody Andrews and his girlfriend, Paula Williams, originated it in 2015. They came up with the idea of picking out surprise outfits for each other at a thrift store and wearing them in public. Full-time students at the time, they set ground rules: a $10 budget and gender-appropriate clothes, and committed to not only wearing the outfit their partner selected, but also not telling people it was a joke.

“As we waited [for a table], literally 360 degrees of stares were happening,” Andrews recalled to ABC News. “People really couldn’t comprehend us…their facial expressions ranged from disgust to the highest level of confusion.”

“Overall though, the vast majority of people we saw ended up with a smile on their face, which is exactly what we wanted,” he added.

The idea went viral after they posted a photo on Facebook. Since then, countless couples and groups of friends have followed suit.

Josh Woods tried a Goodwill date with his wife. I love the points he made on his blog: "The Goodwill Date gets you out of your comfort zone so much to the point that you don’t care what other people think. This makes room for a couple of things. First, you and your significant other are in this together, so it somehow makes you feel closer. And since you are in it together, you focus more on each other. Another great thing is that you laugh. Man, we laughed so much. It’s hard to have a bad date when you’re laughing."

As you get older, there may be fewer things you can do than when you were younger.

Laughing is not one of them.

Laughter makes relationships last.

Ruts can't withstand laughter.

Neither can Adultitis.

If you want your relationship to stay alive, water it with regular date nights.

If you want those dates to be great, fertilize them with laughter.

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What will you do this week to water a relationship that's grown dry? Share your thoughts with me, join the conversation in The Wonderground, or spend time recording them in your journal this week.

Stay young and stay fun,

P.S.

Just a reminder, we begin taking orders for the 2027 Celebrate Everything Calendar THIS WEEK (Thursday, October 15, to be exact). After October 31, reservations close and we send our order to the printer. If you buy 5 or more calendars, you'll save $5 per calendar, so take advantage of that! (Learn more here.) ​

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